So here I am, blogging from my fancy new cell phone. What a world. Amazing to think that I can use such advanced technology to such trivial and yet deeply self-entertaining ends.
(Of course, then I get all annoyed with the load time on Opera or the stylus skitzing out, and at the fact that I can either have the view zoomed out, so that it looks like gnat-writing, or zoomed in so that I have to scroll constantly to see what the hell I'm writing.) Parenthetically speaking,"I demand instant gratification!" used to be an only half-kidding battle cry of mine. This is perhaps why I am so completely addicted to this stupid new phone, even though it occasionally sends me into fits of rage and causes me to scream, "Gaaaaah! I fucking hate you!!!" while shaking it. As if, even assuming it could hear me, that would somehow help things.
Really, I almost feel like I should name the feckin' thing. I named my car. I used to name far more things in my life, actually. A couple years ago I got a bit overzealous and named all the houseplants, but I forgot them all again with remarkable rapidity. (Well, maybe it's not all that remarkable.)
I don't know, though. A car has a lot more personality than a phone; most modern phones look to me like they'd be snotty wanna-be-Euro-hipsters if they were people, with names like 'Deiter' and 'Coco'. I think part of it is the age; the phone's brand-new, but my car rather emphatically is not.
So what to call this thing? Lil' Bytey? It's basically like a mini-computer, after all. Juno, since like the goddess, it seems to take random but swift vengeance? Bobo, since it's a constant form of entertainment? Clarice, because it would probably eat me alive if it had half the chance? Wait, that would be Hannibal.
I'm kidding. I'm sure my phone wouldn't really eat me alive. But it might give me a good shaking while screaming, "I hate you!!!" Hm, maybe I should name it something that pays homage to our addict/enabler relationship.
Suggestions? Votes?
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Maybe H? Burroughs (or is that like Hannibal/ Clarice)? Bonobo (the monkey on your back, but also used for fun)? [ps-- it's me, mm]
ReplyDeleteI heart your phone solely for the Ms. Pac Man option. That is just too cool. I love your new blog.
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